Vaz
The unknown-unseer of arts.
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Name origin; The nickname based on the made up name "Vazchu" - which was created by C.S. Wahlberg back in 2007 for another character and later used it as their alias a lot on the internet.
Meaning; N/A Gender; Genderqueer Species; Human(-ish) Birthday; January 6 Age; 25(-ish) years old Zodiac sign; The Capricorn Relationship; "Taken" ~ aka. they have someone to care for deeply and love. Siblings; N/A Parents; N/A, they moved on and wished to forget them after running away at a young age. Friends; N/A |
Occupation; Shopkeeper and artist in various creative areas.
Theme song; "What are you waiting for?" by Disturbed
Theme song; "What are you waiting for?" by Disturbed
"I bid thee welcome, dear stranger. We art happy that thee foundest thine way to our humble shop ...
How may we be of service for thou today, Master?"
Biography
I was lying on me back.
I could feel the cold drops dripping against me pale skin. Slowly I opened me eyes. Staring up into a sky filled with grey clouds and I could see the distant drops which fell down towards the world where I belonged. I did not know where I was and in all honesty it did not matter. Me surroundings were in dull-wet colours that the winter left behind in the forest. The wet moss and berry plants surrounded me on the ground. Tall trees reaching for the sky surrounded us above. I felt a relief while watching the sky and me eyes were filled with tears, even though it was not bright. In fact, the sky seemed dark to me.
I was finally awake.
Distant feelings crept into me core. I felt the numbness withdrawing when they slowly returned. I wanted to feel again.
Without me realizing it, I reached out to the glittering raindrops. They embraced me hand and followed the palm down to me arm and in underneath me sleeve. Coldness dancing.
Somehow I did not remember much from before the moment I felt the raindrops against me skin. I merely saw vague moments flashing before me eyes.
A younger me who sat quiet in the corner of a room filled with large shelves stuffed with books of all ages, piles of books all around the younger me. One was open and me old self read page in and page out. I could see the green eyes gathering knowledge beyond me years.
Although, I was alone.
A me which was not much younger than what I was where I lied on me back. Covered in a large cloak with me pale face hidden underneath the hood. It cast from side to side within the wind where I was walking through areas I had never seen.
I was alone still.
Suddenly I saw the eyes of someone who was not me. Their light green eyes were glittering as the person looked at me. A smile over their lips which moved, but I could not hear what the person said. They turned around from me and began making their way in the opposite direction. I reached out after the person, but they disappeared before me eyes.
I screamed like I never had done before.
I opened me eyes, hands taking the moss in a tight grip. An aching feeling in the pit of me belly began to drive away the numbness I had been feeling. It hurt. I was hurting somewhere deep within. I did not remember how I ended up on me back. But I remembered that person clear as day and I knew I had to find them. For I wanted to know the words they spoke before they vanished.
Slowly I tried to get up. It was at that point I realized how exhausted I was. Me body was aching and it hurt to move. But I could not rest, I had to keep moving or else I was doomed. For when me numbness had subsided and my consciousness had been cleared; I could hear the voices again. The voices coming from the darkness. The ones who kept chasing me, while I tried to hide in the light.
After a while I managed to get up and was standing still, eyes staring down at the ground around me feet. I let out a small sigh before biting me lip to get meself together.
I had no choice because of mistakes I made while reading all the books in me youth. The books which were not meant for the eyes of mankind. I knew things I should not and I could do things no human was ever meant to do. Me right hand took hold of the edge belonging to the large hood which had fallen off me head. Quickly I pulled it up to let its shadow keep me green eyes from being seen. At the same time me left hand grabbed the small crystal stone which was hanging around me neck.
“Lend me thy strength once more,” I whispered the words and closed me eyes. “Please.”
The crystal started to give off warmth, which spread through me body. The coldness was chased away and me pale skin regained some colour. I had lost count how many times I should have died by now. But I had to find that person before I could rest in peace side by side with them. As I opened me eyes I let me hand that held the crystal fall to its place by me side.
A deep breath. Before finally letting the dull forest around me disappear.
I could feel the cold drops dripping against me pale skin. Slowly I opened me eyes. Staring up into a sky filled with grey clouds and I could see the distant drops which fell down towards the world where I belonged. I did not know where I was and in all honesty it did not matter. Me surroundings were in dull-wet colours that the winter left behind in the forest. The wet moss and berry plants surrounded me on the ground. Tall trees reaching for the sky surrounded us above. I felt a relief while watching the sky and me eyes were filled with tears, even though it was not bright. In fact, the sky seemed dark to me.
I was finally awake.
Distant feelings crept into me core. I felt the numbness withdrawing when they slowly returned. I wanted to feel again.
Without me realizing it, I reached out to the glittering raindrops. They embraced me hand and followed the palm down to me arm and in underneath me sleeve. Coldness dancing.
Somehow I did not remember much from before the moment I felt the raindrops against me skin. I merely saw vague moments flashing before me eyes.
A younger me who sat quiet in the corner of a room filled with large shelves stuffed with books of all ages, piles of books all around the younger me. One was open and me old self read page in and page out. I could see the green eyes gathering knowledge beyond me years.
Although, I was alone.
A me which was not much younger than what I was where I lied on me back. Covered in a large cloak with me pale face hidden underneath the hood. It cast from side to side within the wind where I was walking through areas I had never seen.
I was alone still.
Suddenly I saw the eyes of someone who was not me. Their light green eyes were glittering as the person looked at me. A smile over their lips which moved, but I could not hear what the person said. They turned around from me and began making their way in the opposite direction. I reached out after the person, but they disappeared before me eyes.
I screamed like I never had done before.
I opened me eyes, hands taking the moss in a tight grip. An aching feeling in the pit of me belly began to drive away the numbness I had been feeling. It hurt. I was hurting somewhere deep within. I did not remember how I ended up on me back. But I remembered that person clear as day and I knew I had to find them. For I wanted to know the words they spoke before they vanished.
Slowly I tried to get up. It was at that point I realized how exhausted I was. Me body was aching and it hurt to move. But I could not rest, I had to keep moving or else I was doomed. For when me numbness had subsided and my consciousness had been cleared; I could hear the voices again. The voices coming from the darkness. The ones who kept chasing me, while I tried to hide in the light.
After a while I managed to get up and was standing still, eyes staring down at the ground around me feet. I let out a small sigh before biting me lip to get meself together.
I had no choice because of mistakes I made while reading all the books in me youth. The books which were not meant for the eyes of mankind. I knew things I should not and I could do things no human was ever meant to do. Me right hand took hold of the edge belonging to the large hood which had fallen off me head. Quickly I pulled it up to let its shadow keep me green eyes from being seen. At the same time me left hand grabbed the small crystal stone which was hanging around me neck.
“Lend me thy strength once more,” I whispered the words and closed me eyes. “Please.”
The crystal started to give off warmth, which spread through me body. The coldness was chased away and me pale skin regained some colour. I had lost count how many times I should have died by now. But I had to find that person before I could rest in peace side by side with them. As I opened me eyes I let me hand that held the crystal fall to its place by me side.
A deep breath. Before finally letting the dull forest around me disappear.
Personality
Mysterious | Torn | Kind hearted | Overly helpful | Distant
Vaz is a person who mostly keeps to themselves, isolates their being from the world around. Surely they will meet and greet you with a mysterious smile over their lips. But they will not let you close nor let you know who they truly are. They will leave you in question to wonder what just happened or what just was said. It’s only a few people who ever will get close to them, only one who will ever get the closest.
In truth Vaz doesn’t like to be alone too often or all the time though, which kind of goes oddly together with their habit of not letting people know them. For being alone too long is their greatest fear. When they are, they slowly start to loose control over their mind and their surroundings. But so long as they have someone close by, may it be a human or animal of some sort, they are able to keep their mind sane. If not, they will be lost in thoughts of what could have been and what might be.
They will never treat someone harshly or rudely – unless said person has done something to deserve being treated like so. It’s not in their nature to be mean to people and in truth they feel like they can’t be mean … For they don’t know how to truly be mean. If they ever are seen as such, it is because they did it without them realizing it. Let’s just leave it at that Vaz doesn’t realize some things until it is too late. For who would know how others would react or feel based on what happens to or around them, when Vaz isolates themselves from ever knowing how other people works? All in all some people may take something they say or do as something bad, even though they never intended for it to be like so.
They will often leave you in question and ignore to reply to questions or conversations they deem as unnecessary. And when it all comes around to it, Vaz is somewhat fond of the thought of you never truly knowing who they are at their core. They may tell you some things, but at the end of the day they will lead you astray, try to deceive you with a delicate story or objects to lead your attention away from their own person. For they feel quite insecure about people knowing them, a fear of it being a weakness that others may use to hurt them if someone feel like acting in such a manner.
Vaz is very much against injustice. Those who can’t stand up for themselves while they're around will often get a helping hand if needs be. Seeing others being treated bad just hurts in their core. It may be because no one ever really cared to come to their aid in their youth – or just because their sense of justice leads them to helping those in need. Partly their inability to say “no” may have some reason in it as well. There’s simply something in their mind which stops them from walking away when someone needs help.
On the other hand … When it comes to asking for help, Vaz will never do it. They want to make it on their own and do the best with what they have at hand. Which leads them to never showing when they’re struggling with something until it’s too much for them to handle and they’re being suffocated in negative feelings. Perhaps when it reaches that point, when the strength is no more, they may get to the point of allowing the one who notices it to help them.
All in all Vaz is always keeping a mysterious smile and positive feelings around themselves while others sees them. Only when they are completely alone or when the few they truly trust are around, they may show it if something’s bothering them.
In truth Vaz doesn’t like to be alone too often or all the time though, which kind of goes oddly together with their habit of not letting people know them. For being alone too long is their greatest fear. When they are, they slowly start to loose control over their mind and their surroundings. But so long as they have someone close by, may it be a human or animal of some sort, they are able to keep their mind sane. If not, they will be lost in thoughts of what could have been and what might be.
They will never treat someone harshly or rudely – unless said person has done something to deserve being treated like so. It’s not in their nature to be mean to people and in truth they feel like they can’t be mean … For they don’t know how to truly be mean. If they ever are seen as such, it is because they did it without them realizing it. Let’s just leave it at that Vaz doesn’t realize some things until it is too late. For who would know how others would react or feel based on what happens to or around them, when Vaz isolates themselves from ever knowing how other people works? All in all some people may take something they say or do as something bad, even though they never intended for it to be like so.
They will often leave you in question and ignore to reply to questions or conversations they deem as unnecessary. And when it all comes around to it, Vaz is somewhat fond of the thought of you never truly knowing who they are at their core. They may tell you some things, but at the end of the day they will lead you astray, try to deceive you with a delicate story or objects to lead your attention away from their own person. For they feel quite insecure about people knowing them, a fear of it being a weakness that others may use to hurt them if someone feel like acting in such a manner.
Vaz is very much against injustice. Those who can’t stand up for themselves while they're around will often get a helping hand if needs be. Seeing others being treated bad just hurts in their core. It may be because no one ever really cared to come to their aid in their youth – or just because their sense of justice leads them to helping those in need. Partly their inability to say “no” may have some reason in it as well. There’s simply something in their mind which stops them from walking away when someone needs help.
On the other hand … When it comes to asking for help, Vaz will never do it. They want to make it on their own and do the best with what they have at hand. Which leads them to never showing when they’re struggling with something until it’s too much for them to handle and they’re being suffocated in negative feelings. Perhaps when it reaches that point, when the strength is no more, they may get to the point of allowing the one who notices it to help them.
All in all Vaz is always keeping a mysterious smile and positive feelings around themselves while others sees them. Only when they are completely alone or when the few they truly trust are around, they may show it if something’s bothering them.
Playlist
Vaz' playlist is partly meant to reflect their personality, but also to show what music they like and listen to mostly. Of course they do listen to songs other than those on this playlist, but these are the ones they like the most (or describes them the best, since it's mostly music outside their taste here).
The playlist can be found on both [ Youtube ] and [ Spotify ] . *Many of the songs are in Swedish, so if you wonder what they're about, feel free to contact me and I shall translate the lyrics for you! |
The future and the past views
Long ago they came to terms with the simple fact (which is the uttermost truth when it all comes down to it) that the past cannot be changed nor relived; what has been has been and cannot be changed. The only thing one can do is to come to terms with it, accepting that what has been created what now is. When it comes down to it, Vaz is fine with their past being the way it is and wouldn't change it even if they could. For they wouldn't be themselves if they did that ... And they truly do not wish to be someone else but who they are right now.
When it comes to their future, surely they might have wishes and hopes of things they want to come true. Goals that they wish to fulfill ... But they try their best not to focus too much on what is bound to come, instead merely focusing on the things that occur around them. Simply not planning too far ahead into the future. Which at times might be hard to stay true to, since they do dream away sometimes into the future that may or may not come. Sadly they've learned that the future they often dream about never will come around, so they often feel it's better to not dream at all.
When it comes to their future, surely they might have wishes and hopes of things they want to come true. Goals that they wish to fulfill ... But they try their best not to focus too much on what is bound to come, instead merely focusing on the things that occur around them. Simply not planning too far ahead into the future. Which at times might be hard to stay true to, since they do dream away sometimes into the future that may or may not come. Sadly they've learned that the future they often dream about never will come around, so they often feel it's better to not dream at all.
Philosophy on life and death
Life and its ending, it's only the beginning of something different - somewhere else. May it be as a spirit or a ghost, or as a completely different being ... They simply do not wish to see their upcoming death as the mark which says "the end" of their story. They'd like to keep going even after that. For they believe the soul keeps on living forever, perhaps not as the person they are right now, but as someone new in the next life. They hope though, that who they are at the core of their soul always will come along and always be the center of their new "I" in the next life.
And in a way they have already kept going after many deaths already.
And in a way they have already kept going after many deaths already.
Quirks
♦ Vaz somehow finds it comfortable to take a nap on the floor during the day if they ever find themselves too tired to be awake until the evening. Even more oddly enough, they're able to fall asleep while doing it, only waking up when their arms has gone numb.
♦ Often when Vaz laughs from the bottom of their heart, those whom hear them will often get the opinion that they sound much older than what they actually are. Apparently it's something with their laughter that makes them sound like a 70 year old person.
♦ Though they often wishes and tries to live on food that are healthy and not eat too much sweets, they usually gets caught in bad habits of eating sweets every once in a while. When it happens; they often feel like it's almost impossible to break free from the addiction of sugar. And when they do eat sweets ... They will eat all of it at once, in hopes to get so sick to the belly that they will be disgusted to eat sweets again (though this still seems like it's not very affective).
♦ Often when Vaz laughs from the bottom of their heart, those whom hear them will often get the opinion that they sound much older than what they actually are. Apparently it's something with their laughter that makes them sound like a 70 year old person.
♦ Though they often wishes and tries to live on food that are healthy and not eat too much sweets, they usually gets caught in bad habits of eating sweets every once in a while. When it happens; they often feel like it's almost impossible to break free from the addiction of sugar. And when they do eat sweets ... They will eat all of it at once, in hopes to get so sick to the belly that they will be disgusted to eat sweets again (though this still seems like it's not very affective).
Likes
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Dislikes
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Deeper knowledge about Vaz
Darkest Secret ...
They may have thought that only after witnessing death at close range was the cause to see what lies beyond. However, as years has passed they've realized that it wasn't the truth. What few sees, has always been there. Watching, calling, luring and tempting them closer to the ways beyond. Vaz had always believed that the beings moving in the dark had been nothing more than imagination. Little did they know that the being following them in the dark was as real as day. And though Vaz had deemed it their only friend for the longest time, it turned out to be their worst nightmare.
Only wishing them fear and death if they disobeyed.
This being is the one thing that Vaz has come to fear at a completely different level than everything else they have encountered. But they're determinate to not give in and do as the creatures of the darkness wants them to do.
They may have thought that only after witnessing death at close range was the cause to see what lies beyond. However, as years has passed they've realized that it wasn't the truth. What few sees, has always been there. Watching, calling, luring and tempting them closer to the ways beyond. Vaz had always believed that the beings moving in the dark had been nothing more than imagination. Little did they know that the being following them in the dark was as real as day. And though Vaz had deemed it their only friend for the longest time, it turned out to be their worst nightmare.
Only wishing them fear and death if they disobeyed.
This being is the one thing that Vaz has come to fear at a completely different level than everything else they have encountered. But they're determinate to not give in and do as the creatures of the darkness wants them to do.
Most treasured memory ...
Have you ever experienced the feeling of returning to a place? Even though "returning" isn't the right way to phrase it. Since the place you are visiting is a place you've never been to. Yet as you stand there, take your surroundings in, you feel like you've been there before. That is what Vaz experienced when they followed along deep into the forest with a person they hold dear. Breathing in the clear air, taking in the calmness and silence. No sounds from mankind can be heard. Only the nature that softly speaks. Though they always had loved the nature, they had to neglect their love for some years in order to survive. But that person showed it once more and made Vaz remember how important the nature truly is to them. It's their energy source, it's their life line. Because of that reason, it's a memory that shall not ever be forgotten.
Have you ever experienced the feeling of returning to a place? Even though "returning" isn't the right way to phrase it. Since the place you are visiting is a place you've never been to. Yet as you stand there, take your surroundings in, you feel like you've been there before. That is what Vaz experienced when they followed along deep into the forest with a person they hold dear. Breathing in the clear air, taking in the calmness and silence. No sounds from mankind can be heard. Only the nature that softly speaks. Though they always had loved the nature, they had to neglect their love for some years in order to survive. But that person showed it once more and made Vaz remember how important the nature truly is to them. It's their energy source, it's their life line. Because of that reason, it's a memory that shall not ever be forgotten.
Evening person or Morning person
Both the evening and the morning comes with its own unique qualities to desire. But to be fair, with age Vaz has realized that the morning gives them so much more strength and waking up earlier makes them much more awake and energized. And they have a habit of believing "Me ist too old to stayest up late, I dost like the old folks and goest to bed early".
Both the evening and the morning comes with its own unique qualities to desire. But to be fair, with age Vaz has realized that the morning gives them so much more strength and waking up earlier makes them much more awake and energized. And they have a habit of believing "Me ist too old to stayest up late, I dost like the old folks and goest to bed early".
Good habits
Vaz will always try to do the best they can, no matter what I may be. Talents/skills/strenghts They are sensitive in two ways, partly emotionally and partly to sense energies around themselves. This is something they often will use to their advantage, either to grasp how and what a person is feeling in order to understand said person better. Partly in order to figure out if a place they're visiting has energies that are positive enough for them to wish to stay there or if they simply should move on, finding a new place to stay. Hopes and dreams As young, they had no other hope and dream than to be free. As they grew older and became free, that still has remained their dream. As for what they'd like to do with their life ... They always loved plants and the nature and would love to work with it. But part of them also always wishes to create in more ways than one. Best quality They always try to see the good in all things that already has occurred, will occur in the future or that is occurring at the present time. Taking what they learned from it that is good to evolve further, remembering the things that went wrong and memorize to hopefully avoid them in the future. What they want To always move forward after a day has come to its end and evolve as a person, simply be the best person they can be. And to be free from the never ending running in the hamster wheel that the society requires everyone to do. They wish to be free from it all, more than anything else in this world. Vaz sees themselves as ... Strong willed, yet sensitive. Adventurous, yet calm. Always in need of a challenge to face. Most valued possession Their books, plants, bow (and arrows) and antiques. Most proud accomplishment It is a split decision. Number one, is whenever they conquer their fear of being seen and actually is seen by those around. Number two is becoming an author. They are motivated by ... The thought that no one else can do the things they do in their own personal way. For if they don't create what is in their mind, no one ever will. Of course they also are motivated by those who are brave enough to grasp their dreams and work hard to achieve them. And lastly, but probably the greatest motivation of them all, is the nature. There's no greater motivation. |
Bad habits
Having very high demand on themselves in everything they do in their life - no matter how small a thing it can be. They simply always see everything that they've done or made wrong/badly. Vaz will also often stay away from everyone when they feel hurt or sad, this is because they simply do not wish to drag others down with their negative energies. Weaknesses/clumsiness Their hearing and eyesight has started to go for the worse with age, though they rarely will admit it and is often ashamed of not hearing well enough. And truthfully it frightens them to loose both their sight and hearing, for they need to see and hear in order to create. Fears and nightmares To never again see the person they love or loose them in some catastrophe. Sometimes it spins off into only them surviving and the person they hold dear perish. And they also have some love-hate relationship to paranormal activities. Greatest flaw Vaz tends to be very quick jumping to conclusions if someone is late, they don't hear from said person for a long while even if they've agreed to speak/meet. They always will fear the worst possible outcome and always dreading they've done something wrong to offend said person. What they don't want They don't wish to live a life where they haven't been able to do and see all the things they wish to accomplish in their life. Others see Vaz as ... "Always happy", though "always hiding". Too kind for their own good, though never kind enough towards themselves. Creative, though always lacking time. And the odd one out, the one who stands out from the crowd. Greatest failure As an attempt to try something different in their life, just once they decided to give it their all and prove to everyone that they would be good enough ... Put their heart, soul and all their hopes and dreams into this one job. But as time passed, and caring of others who later proved unworthy of being cared for, everything crumbled to the ground. They were lied to, they were torn to pieces and though they were deemed to be good enough at the job, they weren't good enough because of the strangest reasons. Through this whole experienced they learned to be more careful about who they care for and how much effort they put into things they do which aren't their comfort zone. |
Favourites
Colour; Copper
Objects; Mysterious/magical objects, stones with healing, parchment, vintage books, nyckelharpor and various shapes and kinds of glass bottles. Book series; None in particular. Movie; N/A, it's not from their time era. Artist/Band; None in particular. Though they truly enjoy folk music and the sound of historical instruments. Song; None in particular. Music genre; Instrumental, folk music and classical. Anime/Manga; N/A, it's not from their time era. TV-series; N/A, it's not from their time era. Animal; Mythical beings mention in old folklore, if they count. If not, birds and dogs. Clothes; Capes with large hoods and leather belts. Game; "The game of not truly letting anyone know who they are" - if that would count. Website; N/A, it's not from their time era. Thing to do; Walk about the forests of old, devote themselves to art in various ways and to be of service to others, attend handicraft markets, archery and care for plants and other living beings. |
Food; Any properly cooked food over an open fire. They really enjoy a good meal. A big bonus is if the food contains cinnamon.
Candy; Has a sweet-tooth for chocolate and vanilia. Place; In their workshop or out in the forest. Country; They are satisfied being right where they are - as they have not seen many other countires than their own. Day; Monday Decade/Year; They prefer focusing on "right now" rather than "what has been" or "what will be". However, they do find it hard to stay in that "right now". Weather; They like every weather the same amount. Holiday; Yuletide. Season; Every season comes with its own ups and downs in their opinion, thus they like them all in their own unique way. Sport; Even though it's not deemed a "sport" in their time era, archery. School subject; N/A, they never went to any school in their youth. Personal quote; “If I cannot makest it or createst it, I'd be uttermost displeased and keepest trying days at end. I shall not fail.” Quote; “Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Wishing is not enough; we must do.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |