To think that another year has passed. I apologize for my silence since September here. I have been working my ass off, trying my hardest to prove that I want to stay and want to be good enough and learn what needs to be learned at work. I have been working with my stories behind the scenes and I still got no program to paint on the computer. And all the files from my old one are still lost, which partly is a reason why I haven't managed to get back to painting digitally again. I feel ashamed over many things regarding my creative interests ... They've had to suffer far too much these past few years ... And I'm a very sensitive person, so the slightest change in my mood affects all the things I want to do, all the things I need to do. So I know if I were to keep going when I'm feeling down - it won't do me any good. I've way too high standards on myself. Part of me is thinking about applying to an art class to be honest, perhaps it will help me gain some knowledge in how to deal with art blocks and to not let my mood control the creative side of me. And I'm probably gonna look for taking music classes too. Because I recently bought a new instrument. But we will see which one I do first. For now I wish to say that I've actually at last truly finished all the written things for Sahariel's page here on the website. Surely I will need to proof read it a couple of times from now on, since I haven't done that yet. But now it's only to get the time to draw more pictures to lighten up all the text about him. Sometimes I have my moments when I work more traditionally than what I do digitally. I have one of those moments now. To bring the canvas with me; go to a place which doesn't really have to be my desk if I don't feel like sitting (or can't because of the pain in my neck) makes me feel so free. Alas I'm not the best when it comes to acrylics so I don't feel confident enough to try painting any of my characters with them ... Trust me, I tried making one of Shizuka right after I finished the painting shown above - the background turned out nice, but she did not. Thus I threw the entire canvas away, lol.
However, painting stuff like the one I made most recently is relaxing and puts my messy mind at ease ... I feel as if I can let all the chaos just take form on the canvas and that I don't have to care if it turns out okay or not. Life is messy and art can be anything that you choose. Someday I might learn how to truly paint, but for now ... I'm satisfied with just my colourmesses and that I'm gonna build a frame for this one. Even though they might not be the hardest things to paint - I have ended up liking those I've made so far a lot. So for me art isn't better just because it's harder to create, art is better if it means something to you. No I haven't been very dead, I have been changing some things here and there on the pages over the past months. The only thing that has been an issue - is that weebly hasn't let it been published. I have been creating quite a lot, mostly in the terms of writing. Mainly focusing on my story "On the run" and "Tarnion" (which is two old stories that I decided to put together into one and started writing anew back in February or Mars). But I have also been painting some traditionally and I've bought my very own apartment that I will be moving to in September. I have also started a photo project because of me buying an apartment, and thus I bought a purple little Instax Mini 8 - and it's so fun to use it even tho the quality isn't the greatest, but that I knew when I bought it. I have also bought the oldest camera in my collection so far and before then I got my hands on three books from the 1800s and one from the early 1900s. And I also bought some old photopapers from 1980 or so for analogical cameras (which I do have a lot of, hahaha) together with a dear friend of mine, so I've some projects planned for that once I have a room to put my equipment for it in - since it needs to be completely dark when using the photopapers. I have been trying to keep myself healthy by hiking in the woods, and last time I did and was feeding some of the fishes in the river, I ran into some snakes too. The second one I found when I was about to leave was so cute so I couldn't help myself but to pick it up - and my lord how much I died when I did. It had been so long since the last time I held a snake (last time was 2009). And with that I've also realized how alone me and my flowers will be once we move, so I've decided to buy two snakes someday before the end of this year. For midsummer I also made my very first flowercrown and I've decided to start my own company as a photographer during my vacation. Which means that Nikon and Nell finally will have their purpose turly come true. Cheers, right now I'm really bad in with my health and not so okay at all since last Friday. During the breakfast at work I got so much gluten in me that I can't even recall when I last was this bad - if I ever were. So I shall keep working in the shadows here and I shall now get to work with a drawing I have had in my mind since 2011 or something like that. So the lot of you who's here watching this website every so often - I am here, I am working and I have not forgotten my family of characters and projects. And I am fairly curious as to who you guys are who never stopped looking at this website even after I got a bit not-so-active on chickensmoothie, eldemore, dragon cave, deviantart and flight rising. Here's some photos of how my Christmas tree looked before all of the presents were given to their owners, and also the style I had on the wrapping this year. I hope you all had a nice Christmas this year.
I admit it, I am very bad at both blogging and updating this website. Why? Well. It's kinda simple. I enjoy playing league in my spare time. And I've had a bad internship reacently, which took its toll on me. And on Wednesday I start working full time at my new job. Hype.
I may not have been all too much into my creative side as of late, I have not photographed for real for I don't know how long - I lack my inspiration. I haven't really been working with neither any cosplays or anything in the sewing department either. I have merely made bracelets for me and my other half based on one of the most amazing characters in league. |
C.S. VazchuA mere whisperer who utters their thoughts and art of dying. Categories
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